Sunday, May 17, 2009
This May long weekend I have family visiting. Family: well meaning, well intentioned individuals related by blood or marriage who don't understand me, CRON, or what their scales are trying to tell them.
It is always good to see family and I do love them lots. However, you don't realize how much mental preparation and support CRON takes until you are in a close knit group of people who know you well but don't "get" CRON and therefore have trouble being supportive of this change. I was asked "is this is a long term thing or is it just a passing phase?".
So far this weekend it has been easy enough to stay more or less on CRON. However, the discussion always comes up as to "what will I eat again?" and "will I have a piece of that special dish I used to love so much?" it wears away at you when you have your guard let down. Or at least, it wears on you when and where you most want to let your guard down: with family.
Groups, including family, survive due to some homogeneity. Their interests, values, or goals need to overlap if they are going to survive. In some ways, family meals are an important part of family. Then with my new approach to eating I am seen as a deviant in a small way for pulling away from or at least altering the established norm for family meals.
I no longer share in the pancake eating contest or brag about who ate more plates of dinner or dessert. I am very subtly a bit withdrawn from the family. It is not about leaving that group as I really can't. However, instead, I am treated like I am sick and not myself. That one day I may come back to my former self. It's like the rest of the family is grieving the loss of the old me. Either way, my new CRON practice has to overcome this gravity from my family history to become a lifelong practice.
It is what it is. Human nature. Group dynamics. Change.
Change isn't always comfortable. I've always wanted to decide who I am instead of letting groups, society, or the media dictate to me what is normal or acceptable. There is no place that the slight lack of acceptance and the floundering of not knowing how to fully support a new CRON practice is more magnified and difficult than within the family.
My family visit this weekend has been great so far. However, my CRON practice has bent and so has my family. Truly, when you change yourself you change your whole world. Notice the changes. Accept the changes. There is nothing you can do. Different isn't necessarily bad; it's just different. Be who you need to be.
Posted by Andrew Scott at 5/17/2009 08:06:00 AM